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Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men | 
 enlarge | Author: Michael Kimmel
Publisher: Harper
Category: Book
List Price: $25.95
Buy New: $14.35
You Save: $11.60 (45%)
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Rating:  19 reviews
Sales Rank: 14807
Media: Hardcover
Edition: 1
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 352
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.4
Dimensions (in): 10 x 9.1 x 1.3
ISBN: 0060831340
Dewey Decimal Number: 305.310973
EAN: 9780060831349
ASIN: 0060831340
Publication Date: September 1, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
Why do so many guys seem stuck between adolescence and adulthood? Why do so many of them fail to launch? Just what is going on with America's young men? The passage from adolescence to adulthood was once clear, coherent, and relatively secure: in their late teenage years and early twenties, guys "put away childish things" and entered their futures as responsible adults. Today growing up has become more complex and confusing as young men drift casually through college and beyond—hanging out, partying, playing with tech toys, watching sports. But beneath the appearance of a simple extended boyhood, a more dangerous social world has developed, far away from the traditional signposts and cultural signals that once helped boys navigate their way to manhood. The average young American man today is moving through a new stage of development, a buddy culture unfazed by the demands of parents, girlfriends, jobs, kids, and other nuisances of adult life. Sociologist and gender studies authority Michael Kimmel has identified this territory as "Guyland," a place that is both a stage of life and a new social arena. Guyland is the locker room writ large: the world where young men both test and prove themselves as men and develop the defining attitudes and self-images they will carry into adulthood. Kimmel has interviewed hundreds of young men ages sixteen to twenty-six in high schools and college fraternity houses, military academies and sports bars, to better understand Guyland's rules and restrictions, its layers of peer pressure and gender policing, its features and artifacts—from the ordinary (video games, sports, and music) to the extreme (violent fraternity initiations, sexual predation). In mapping the social world where tomorrow's men are made, Kimmel offers a view into the minds and times of America's sons, brothers, and boyfriends, and works toward redefining what it means to be a man today—and tomorrow. Only by understanding this world and this life stage can we enable young men to chart their own paths, to stay true to themselves, and to travel safely through Guyland, emerging as responsible and fully formed men of integrity and honor.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 14 more reviews...
 Extreme, skewed, one sided December 1, 2008
I found this book to be extremely biased in the way it depicted guys in their mid-twenties. I believe the author knew which conclusion he wanted to reach and then did everything in his power to make the information he was provided with reach that conclusion. His thesis seems to be that every male who is single and in their twenties is a loser, alcoholic and rapist. This could not be further from the truth. I myself am a resident of Guyland and have been employed since I was sixteen. I graduated from University two years ago and have been employed full time since then. Furthermore,my friends who are also residents of Guyland all are educated and employed. One of them actually has a six figure salary. We all work hard, however, once the workday is done we are perfectly within our rights to spend our time any way we choose to as long as it falls within the limits of the law. The fact that we choose to party, travel and date during our twenties does not make us losers or bad guys, in fact many girls that are the same age as us have chosen the same lifestyle. Dr. Kimmel purposefully ignores this and just offers up crude stereotypes of frat boys. Personally, I feel that he is just projecting his own insecurities. Dr. Kimmel was probably one of the boys in elementary school who skipped rope instead of playing soccer and was picked on because of this. He thus has strong feelings of resentment and hatred towards any kind of masculinity and seems hellbent on turning all men into spineless automatons. Personally, I choose to keep my guy "edge" and no condescending sociologist or girl/woman will make me lose it.
Peace
 Disturbing news for parents November 24, 2008
I found this to be an amazing book, full of deep insights, and a boatload of disturbing stories. Personally, I would consider it a "Must Read," particularly for parents of college guys. Having said that, it is anything but a "how to fix it" book.
 Boys Become Men November 12, 2008
After I came across the book Guyland by Michael Kimmel, I could not stop reading it. This book is about male teenagers around the age of 16 to 26 transferring to adulthood and how the guys handle the changes. The author explains that "Guyland", is a stage in life where guys put away immature things and try to take up responsibilities. Becoming older and more mature has made it very complex for college students to focus on there work, and to concentrate on what will benefit there future. The author states that the average college guy can be found "hanging out, partying, playing with tech toys, or watching sports".
What I enjoy about this book is that, the author can really relate to college students and typical guys in general. The author knows that guys are more interested in partying, watching sports, and hanging out with their friends. Studying usually happens after that in my perspective.
The author is very concerned on why guys seem to be stuck between adolescence and adulthood, and why guys can't take school serious and pass all there courses and get a legit job with good money, but that isn't always easy for most guys. The author has interviewed hundreds of young men and most of them find themselves living with there parents after they graduate college, because finding a job is very difficult in the world today, guys also seem to be stuck in there own little world the author calls "Guyland". The author states that "the average young American man today is moving through a new stage of development, a buddy culture unfazed by the demands of parents, girlfriends, jobs, kids, and other nuisances of adult life".
Guyland is a good book for women who have a hard time understanding men and what goes through there head, this book will answer a lot of questions that women are looking for. This book is also a good read for men in college or high school, the author interviews many students and the interviews will give people a laugh.
More compassion please November 11, 2008
As a 39 year old guy who quite consciously side-stepped "guyland" throughout my life I appreciated the thorough outline of what a lot of white middle-class guys go through in high school, college and beyond. I always walked by certain bars with the young binge drinkers Kimmel talks of and wondered what they hell they were up to.
What I don't appreciate is the shaming tone of the writing and the antiquated definition of a grown man. Marriage and children are not the only barometers for maturity. And as much as the bullies need to be held responsible for the violence they cause, "guys" including said bullies also need more real-life, healthy role-models and real compassion. The violence that erupts in boys most likely has very long roots. Think about it. Most boys are steered clear out of their feeling at about age 5 with the classic statement, "big boys don't cry!" and goes on from there. Factor in that boys receive less quality attention in general than their girl counterparts and the messages in popular culture and it's no surprise they're acting out.
I was also very disappointed that a little less than one-fifth of the book towards the end was dedicated to solutions. I've also got to believe that there are more stories of kids, like myself, who have led great alternative lives to "guyland" and who've never set foot on a sports team or a fraternity. I tried a number of times to enter these social groups in high school and college and simply found that their company was just not very entertaining.
My one small solution for helping guys in guyland and mankind in general is attending Men's Groups in the style of Robert Bly. I discovered my Men's Group in college in 1991 and have been attending them ever since. It's amazing what kind of support, learning, and healing can happen when few men meet twice a month to just talk about what's going on in their lives. In these groups I've met men who became the role models I'd longed for in my youth. In these groups I exorcised the many fears I had about wether I was "man" enough.
Principal among them was the desire to have more platonic affection with men, ie hugs. It took me a few years of groups to really let go of both the shame of desiring the warm embraces and fully letting in the pleasure it brought me. (For the record I am heterosexual)
As a full grown adult I hope to bring this compassionate awareness to other young men and let them know that being a man is a whole lot more than being successful with money and women and avoiding acting "gay." Hopefully someone can write that book.
GUYLAND is a necessity! November 11, 2008
I had heard about this book, and it is everything I had hoped for. Finally a little clarity in the world of the man-boy. Ladies, read this. Instead of excusing guys behavior, we can learn to sympathize with them and help them get better. End "Bromance" and watch them grow up!
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