| Love the One You're With |  | Author: Emily Giffin
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Category: Book
List Price: $13.95
Buy New: $11.16
You Save: $2.79 (20%)
Rating:  275 reviews
Sales Rank: 41779
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 352
ISBN: 0312348665
Dewey Decimal Number: 813
EAN: 9780312348663
ASIN: 0312348665
Publication Date: April 28, 2009 (In 108 Days)
Shipping: Eligible for Super Saver Shipping
Availability: Not yet published
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Product Description
How do you know if you’ve found the one? Can you really love the one you’re with when you can’t forget the one who got away?
Emily Giffin, author of the New York Times bestselling novels Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Baby Proof, poses these questions—and many more—with her highly anticipated, thought-provoking new novel Love the One You’re With.
Ellen and Andy’s first year of marriage doesn’t just seem perfect, it is perfect. There is no question how deep their devotion is, and how naturally they bring out the best in each other. But one fateful afternoon, Ellen runs into Leo for the first time in eight years. Leo, the one who brought out the worst in her. Leo, the one who left her heartbroken with no explanation. Leo, the one she could never quite forget. When his reappearance ignites long-dormant emotions, Ellen begins to question whether the life she’s living is the one she’s meant to live. At once heartbreaking and funny, Love the One You’re With is a tale of lost loves and found fortunes—and will resonate with anyone who has ever wondered what if.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 270 more reviews...
 Another FABULOUS book by Emily Giffin January 6, 2009
I have read every book Emily Giffin has written and she has never let me down. This book was amazing, inspiring, and of course brought me to tears. She has a beatuiful way of writing that makes feel as if you know the characters like your own family and root for them to succeed. I loved this book!
 Dark Side of the (Honey)Moon January 6, 2009
Even given the antidote of true love, "what if" is a question that never dies, and lust is a face we're pleased to greet on occasion. Depending on the dose, those what ifs and flirty grins can either keep us afloat on the seas of sameness, or drown us in dark waters of error.
For Ellen, the main character in this novel, asking "what if" and entertaining lustful thoughts are mere symptoms of a glossed-over problem: she doesn't know herself or feel comfortable in her own skin.
Though I would have appreciated more self-discovery by Ellen, I was pleased with the course of the plot. I typically avoid "chick lit" but will sample more of Ms. Griffin's work in the future.
Typical chick lit January 6, 2009
The first three chapters for some reason made me bawl. The rest of it wasn't as intense - which was good. I'm not sure if I would have taken the same path as Ellen in the same circumstances but found the wanting to complete the past to be understandable - although I'm never sure the past can ever be tied off nicely. I didn't really buy Marot as a true best friend - it almost felt to me like she kept Ellen around to make her feel superior and sure of her rightful place in society.
The move from New York gave a good perspective of when you try to do the right thing by your partner (and yourself) while blindly ignoring the what if's that are comming up. Andy's desire and motivation to move was clear - but I didn't feel he gave his wife a decent time frame to consider it more seriously. Who buys a house based on their mother in law and sister in laws viewing?
It felt as though it tried to raise the point of true communication in a partnership 9which I saw as lacking in Ellen and Andy), but never really spelt out that was a possible issue. Maybe I was just reading into it too much.
While it ended rather blandly I think it highlights the notion that a couple does not have to be around each other 24/7 to have a successful marriage if that is what works for them.
Overall not so great a book as a lot of the raves I have heard/read about it. It was my first Emily Giffen book and it doesn't really give me much motivation to read any of her others
From S. Krishna's Books December 30, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
Ellen Graham (formerly Ellen Dempsey) is a newly married photographer living in New York City. She thrives on the energy of the city and is deeply in love with her husband, Andy, who is a lawyer at a big New York firm. Her life is as close to perfect as anything she could possibly imagine...until fate blindsides her.
Walking on the street one day, Ellen runs into Leo, the quintessential "guy who got away." Their relationship, filled with soaring highs and the deepest lows, was tumultuous and intense - nothing like Ellen's safe relationship with Andy. After Leo dumped Ellen (at least, that's the way she remembers the story), she was depressed for an unnaturally long time, unable to deal with her grief because she had no closure to the relationship. There was always that lingering question of why - why it didn't work out, why did he fall out of love with me, why, why, why?
So when Ellen runs into Leo, she decides to take him up on his offer of friendship, even though she knows she is treading in dangerous waters. Their intense chemistry hasn't dissipated at all, and she doesn't feel like Andy would understand her draw to Leo - understandably, because she can't understand it herself. Before she realizes it, Ellen is drawn into an impossible situation, questioning the fundamentals of her relationship with Andy - and whether or not she is living the life she is meant to.
Love the One You're With by Emily Giffin is a wonderful story about a woman who isn't quite sure of what she wants or of who she is. While Ellen is a strong, confident photographer who knows she is good at her job, when it comes to her personal life, she is a little more insecure. First, there is her situation with her husband's family, Andy. While she adores them and they have accepted her warmly into the family, she still feels inadequate. Her background is nowhere near their old-money Southern country-club lifestyle, so it is understandable that when Leo shows up, Ellen feels conflicted. Did she marry Andy because she was settling, because she knew that Leo no longer loved her? Does she still love Leo? These questions are all serious issues that must be faced in a marriage, if there is to be any hope of longevity. Unfortunately, they are also some of the most uncomfortable issues out there, and it is easier not to face them. Giffin tackles these questions with grace and dignity. The reader never loses faith in Ellen or becomes disgusted with her choices. She takes her marriage very seriously, and her choices with regards to Leo are weighed heavily and carefully.
Characters are always Giffin's strong points in her novels. The stories are always interesting, but it is the reader's ability to sympathize and relate to her characters that give her stories their drive. While Ellen is easy for a reader to understand, the rest of the characters are a bit more difficult. This appears to be purposeful on Giffin's part, as Ellen has trouble understanding them as well, further contributing to her sense of loneliness and not quite fitting into her husband's world.
The questions at the core of Love the One You're With are the most interesting aspect of the book. What is love? What does marriage mean? Too often, chick lit/women's fiction paints an excessively rosy a picture of love and marriage - the soul mate, the one you're meant to be with. All the stars align to see you together, and when you fall in love, nothing else matters. As much as we want to believe that this is the case, Giffin presents a much more believable picture of love and marriage. Put succinctly, it's about the one you've chosen to love and loving the one you're with.
 A story about an unwholesome obsession with an ex. December 26, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
There's no way to sugarcoat this. Love the one you're with is one of the worst books I have ever read. Emily Giffin's book is advertised as a "captivating, straight-from-the-heart novel" and claims it is "about one woman at the crossroads of true love and real life". If this catchy and promising description is what is prompting you to buy this book, save your money because this book is neither captivating nor has anything to do with true love.
Allow me to tell you what this book is REALLY about. Love the one you're with is the story of Ellen Dempsey, a happily married woman who unexpectedly runs into an ex from eight years ago and then obsesses almost to the point of hysteria about how to proceed next. I don't think the sheer absurdity of the book really hit me until I read the backstory of how Ellen and Leo first met. I think it's important to let the readers know this aspect of the story before purchasing the book. If I had known the particulars of Ellen and Leo's storybook romance, I would have saved myself $16.00
Ellen met Leo at jury duty. As soon as she layed eyes on the him, the creepiness began. The guy is just sitting there minding his own buisness with a headset on, clearly he doesn't want to be bothered by any fellow bored potential jurors. Meanwhile, Ellen is salivating at the sight of him from across the room. Our heroine, who had come armed with tips how NOT to be chosen as a juror, is now determined that she must be chosen in order to have a few more days with the man candy who doesn't even know she exists. Obviously both get chosen. The case becomes complicated and the jurors are forced to stay in a hotel for security reasons. One night Ellen's hotel phone rings. It's Leo, a man who has hardly spoken a word to her asks if he can come to her room. Ellen agrees. The result? A booty call between two complete strangers.
Ellen describes her relationship with Leo as intense, but it seems it was more about sex for Leo and about clinging to someone for Ellen. After hooking up with Leo, Ellen ditches her friends, her hobbies, and her dreams. But we never hear what it is that Leo offered, besides what the author calls poetic sex, to make Ellen perch him up so high on the romantic pedestal that he remains on years after their breakup. One day, Ellen begins to notice that Leo doesn't return phone calls as quickly as he used to. He decides to spend more time with his friends, and he makes it clear that he is not up for something permanent. Ellen, who believes the mention of a breakup with snap Leo out of it, suggests they breakup. Leo says "okay" and it over.
Years after her breakup, Ellen hooks up with her best friend Margot's brother, Andy. Andy is a successful, stable, committed loving husband. Yet after bumping into Leo throws Ellen into a frenzy. Who to chose? the handsome loving man who made her his wife and gave her the family she never had, or the booty call that turned into a one-sided relationship which soon ended when Leo grew tired of the poetic sex? The crazy thing is that after a few phone calls with the ex, Ellen begins second guessing her entire marriage to Andy. She starts looking for faults where there are none. She picks fights to justify her unacceptable and adulterous behavior. This book was truly chick-lit at its worst.
I realize many people who read this book are Emily Giffin fans. I've read on here that some of her other books are much more promising, but after reading one of the worst novels I ever had the misfortune of getting my hands on, I cannot even begin to contemplate ever picking up another novel by this author ever again.
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